New Zealand is…

“It’s a bit backward.” She said. “I mean, the music in the shops was terrible.”

I couldn’t but agree. They really should stop playing Hootie and the Blowfish in Hallensteins.

“And the clothes. I mean, really. I suppose if you’re a surfie it’s okay, but I mean, really.”

She was pigeonholing which I thought was a little unfair. I happen to know that skaties, and boardies also wear that Billabong and Rip Curl stuff.

She settled on about thirty years. Thirty years behind the rest of the world, meaning England. By her reckoning New Zealand is still trapped in the 70’s.

Now I’m a few years off thirty yet I reckon most of the good music had already come around by then. Baches are still a throwback from anywhere between the fifties and the seventies, and my best moments have been in them. Summers still are still oversaturated in Technicolor, and goody goody gum drops is still being sold in the dairies by the beach. The way I see it, what’s the problem?

I pointed out that we have changed. We have the Internet now. A recent thing, all very technical really. Perhaps I should just stick to watching Dukes of Hazard and M*A*S*H on the box.

We know Godzone ain’t perfect. Our roads are narrow and windy, and our options for the flashest building in our country is a toss-up between a phallic casino with a revolving restaurant and a bric-a-brac museum by the sea. There’s also the housing which really does need to change. In my Hataitai flat it was warmer in our fridge than the lounge.

But name me another place where you can swim during summer and snowboard during winter. Show me where I can collect mussels on the rocks for tea, or tramp down a river gorge just an hour out of town. You takes what you gets.

“Oh, don’t get me wrong,” she admitted, “I thought it was nice, but it’s still backward. Like thirty years backward.”

Too right. Party like it’s 1977.